A Cold Winter
by lumoslumiere
Summary: Draco goes home for Christmas during 6th year. At home, with only his mother for company, he discovers the true love of the mother he never really knew.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:** Non-cannon story (though it could be...). Contains minor language and reference to violence. Contains a strictily mother/son relationship. Enjoy and please review:D

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of JKR's magical work, I only borrow her characters. :)

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December 22, 1996:

It's cold, oh so cold. I can hear everything: every footstep, every whisper. Sometimes I think I even imagine noises, anything so I don't have to bear the terrible silence. It feels like impending doom, like something horrible is about to happen, and indeed, it will.

I don't want Draco to kill anyone, at least not yet. He is so young, and he doesn't understand. He must be _terrified_. But I know, I _know_ that, if Draco doesn't kill him, he will be the one to pay. My son... my only son, the one thing I love more than anything on this earth. I am so frightened and yet, there is nothing more I can do.

I'm alone. Lucius is in jail; there is no one to protect me, no one.

I miss my husband terribly. I miss his eyes, his coldness, his occasional smile. I miss his very presence. The house feels even emptier without him -- _I_ feel emptier without him.

But most of all, I miss my son.

I miss the little boy who was afraid of the Boggart in his closet. I miss the little boy who snuck into my room on the nights when Lucius was gone and told me everything would be alright. I miss the little boy who wanted a pet dragon for his sixth birthday. But that little boy is gone. Draco has grown so much that I feel like I hardly know my own son anymore.

He'll be arriving tomorrow, my Draco. I insisted on having him home these holidays. I need to see him, to talk to him; it might be the last time I see my son...

I wish the Dark Lord would never have given him a task, I wish he wouldn't have followed his father's footsteps.

But I've wished a great deal of things, none of which came true.

** Narcissa Malfoy**

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Please! Please! Review!

Chapter 2 coming soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long to get up, but i'm having a difficult time wrapping this story up. Also, this chapter is unbeta-ed so please excuse any grammatical errors.

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December 23, 1996:

Draco arrived late this afternoon.

He offered no words, no clues as to his state of being, he simply uttered a "I'm home, mother" and retired to his room. He hasn't left his room since then, not even for dinner, he just skipped that all together.

Later on I knocked on his door and asked him if he was alright, to which he responded with a gruff "I'm busy, go away." He's been killing himself with this task. He needs to stop, to rest, he's been waisting away. And I need him so much, so badly, especially now. I just want to -_need _to- talk to him, to hold him, to make sure he's alright.

Alright? How could he be alright?

I don't know what to do, I feel so vulnerable, so useless. When I married Lucius I thought I would never need to be frightened again, that he would always be there to protect us, that no harm would come to us as long as he was there.

How wrong I was.

Lucius is in Azkaban now and I alone must protect my family. I have to face any harm that comes my way or the way of my son. I keep telling myself 'Narcissa, you must be strong. For Draco, for Lucius, but especially for yourself. Don't be afraid.'.

I am so frightened. I've never felt this scared before, but I must face the future, be brave.

I have no choice.

Narcissa Malfoy


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **This chapter is unbeta-ed, so please excuse any grammatical errors.

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December 24, 1996:

It is Christmas Eve and, for the first time in almost 20 years, there was no party at Malfoy Manor. No friends, no gigantic dinner and, thank God, no tight dress robes.

This morning I woke up determined to pull Draco out of his room, at least for a moment. As soon as I woke up I went to the living room and told Pocky, our new, obedient house elf, to bring in a Christmas tree and the decorations for it. I also told her to begin preparing a Christmas dinner for tomorrow. I wanted a beautiful turkey and for dessert Draco's favorite, blueberry pie. I will never forget the look Pocky gave me when I told her this, something between bewilderment and sadness, as if saying "Poor dear, planning a dinner for a son that ignores her". But, nontheless, she nodded, gave her usual 'Yes, Ma'am' and retired.

Draco denied my invitation to join me for dinner. He stated he was, once more, too busy, and asked me to have his dinner sent to his room. So, I sent Pocky up there with his dinner as he requested.

I once again sat alone on the humongus dinning table, the empty seats and plates mocking me.

After dinner I went upstairs to get ready for bed, but as I walked over to my door I saw that the door across the hall was slightly opened. Draco's door. I hadn't been in his room since the day he left for Hogwarts, when it was still decorated with flying fire-breathing dragons on the walls and books about Quidditch and first year spell laying around on the floor, but tonight when I walked in that room it was completely different. The dragons and Quidditch posters were gone, substituted by plain dark green walls that made the room seem almost black, dead. Instead of first year spell books and Quidditch books, the floor was littered with books on the Dark Arts. They presented dark spells in horrible description, some of which I had never heard of before. His bed was made, as if he hadn't slept in it in days, and he probably hadn't. His bed side table was covered with empty plates from the week's dinners. There were empty glasses all over the room also. It frightened me even more. "What is happening to my son" I thought, and then I heard his voice from behind me say "Mother, what are you doing here?". I just stared at him, wide-eyed, my eyes brimming with tears. I whispered a rushed 'I'm sorry' and walked out of the room, closing the door behind me.

I walked to my room across the hall from Draco's, my room not Lucius' and mine. When we got married Lucius let me have one of the guest rooms to use as my own, which I could decorate to my taste and sleep in when he was away. As opossed to our bedroom, which was decorated with dark green, black and silver colors, my bedroom has orange walls with a small white flower patter and my bed is crisp white. I have been sleeping in here since they took Lucius away. I can't bear to sleep in our bedroom, it's cold and empty without him. It feels to big. I feel much more comfortable here. I took a book from my bookshelf, one of those wizarding romance novels they sell through Witch Weekly, and I sit on my bed. I don't remember exactly when I fell asleep, but I woke up to someone shaking me softly and whispering the word 'mum' in my ear. I recognized the voice immediately, it was Draco. I sat up quickly and looked eagerly at his face, thinking something was wrong.

My son looked awful.

He was more pale than usual and there were deep shades beneath his eyes, like he hadn't been sleeping for months. I asked him what was wrong and he answered in a pained and terrified voice that I couldn't refuse: "Could I sleep here with you tonight, mum? Please?".

How could I refuse? He looked so scared. I hugged him tightly like I hadn't done in years and layed him slowly on the bed. As he lay there I ran my hand through his hair until he fell asleep. I'm still watching him sleep right now, he looks so peaceful and I will let him sleep as long as he needs. I'm going to lay down next to him and holding him tightly until morning.

Tomorrow is Christmas, but I can say I got the best Christmas present a bit early. I have my son back.

Narcissa Malfoy


End file.
